You'll Just Go On...an Oblivious Fool

Any park ranger could explain to you that there are colors in the animal kingdom that are representative of danger. Bees are bright yellow and black. Tigers are bright orange and black. Lions are orange and fucking humongous with massive claws and they run like fucking super-fast and they're extremely intimidating and their eyes glow like demon eyes staring out from the depths of hell.













Dangerous plants survive using a similar mechanism. There aren't many among us who would, if looking for a casual snack, take a chance on eating one of these things.

What's really scary is a plant like a raspberry. It looks like it could be a poisonous little berry...it's bright red and has spikes around it and shit, but no, it's delicious as hell. If you consider the fact that delicious things are similar in appearance to poisonous things you might think that God is playing a mean trick on all of us...blame it on Cain.

...or doubt that the park ranger knows what the fuck he's talking about in the first place.

This whole post is sidetracked on a complete tangent, though. I appear to be lacking focus. The most interesting part of this whole entry is that I found an image in the process of writing this ...the picture below perfectly sums up the mental image that I first had before I started writing. I wanted to take the idea that there are dangerous looking plants that are fucking scary looking. Nobody would eat them. They are instinctively repulsive to us, as are many other harmful things that we encounter in the natural environment. I wanted to pair that idea with the simple concept that...

Lots of food in our modern diet is similar, but we eat that food regardless. It's no surprise what bad decisions people make on a consistent daily basis if you take a look around at the restaurants that are flourishing. It doesn't take a scientist to realize that this is more healthy than this or this....or that this is better than this. or....well. If the food wasn't filling a hole, it wouldn't be sold.

Karmufflefluger. Sometimes words are inadequate and distracting...they distort things from the initial mental image, which was the whole point of me starting this post. This is all there is to it. There's sort of a running theme that we should be smart enough to recognize by now. I mean, eventually I'm sure we'll evolve to be intrinsically skeptical of any logo, but until then...this image that I stumbled upon seems to illustrate my point without using any words.









Oh, before you go, I would strongly advise everyone to remove the filter when searching Google images. You get some really interesting results.

Also, don't take this attitude as me being preachy. I will shamelessly confess my willingness to devour my favorite dish from any of those places when I'm drunk at 2:00am...or when I just want some comfort during lunch at work...or after a satisfying jog or...

I think I'm drunk. And hungry.

Oh, more awesome old school rap. Biggie Smalls - Every Day Struggle.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

After training really hard immediately after receiving my purple belt, and then in advance of going to Brazil, and then after Brazil, my body was hurting all over. I was experiencing chronic pain in my neck, finger, wrist, knee, and both shoulders. I was burned out. So I took it easy for a little while, and only recently have started getting back into shape.

Last week, I received an email from Leon, my original Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructor. Over the course of many years, he trained his wife in the martial arts until she became a bad motherfucker. She knows wrestling, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and Thai Kickboxing. If Leon wasn’t the Coronel Kurtz of martial arts, they would both have high rank, but Leon has been off the reservation for most of his martial arts career, taking in willing natives through intimidation, force of will, and moral strength, molding them into fighters until an inevitable fall out occurs from training in the equivalent of a deep Camodian jungle.

He recently moved to Michigan, and has been getting back into the training/teaching game. He wrote me the following email about his wife, Smegal:

So [Smegal] goes to the gym and im busy helping train this other dude for a fight...so she goes to train jitsu with this dude doing some grappling (he's wearing his judo blue belt - she's wearing her bjj blue belt)...she takes him down 3 times (single, double and near leg hook), passes his guard "easily", scissor sweeps him twice, and submits him with a bent up from mount...he got nothing at all...unless you count the "what the fuck is this?? look on his face"...he was about 135-145ish (not sure)...then he "had to go"...on the way out he tells bob, the owner, "she's strong"...he tells me what he said and i say "she's 105 lbs, she's not strong...it's technique"...he smiles and i laugh on the inside

she gives me the report/details later b/c i wasnt really watching it when it went down...she said she thought about giving him one so he wouldn't feel bad and then thought "nah"...

fucking hilarious...she should have put him to sleep and then done the dance of death with victory laps right?

Geopolitics

We take a break from our regularly scheduled ramblings to bring you today's headline news:

South Korea: North responsible for torpedo attack on warship

By John Pomfret and Blaine Harden
Washington Post Staff Writers
Tuesday, May 18, 2010; 2:47 PM

South Korea will formally blame North Korea on Thursday for launching four torpedos at one of its battleships in March, causing an explosion that killed 46 sailors and heightened tensions in one of the world's most perilous regions, U.S. and East Asian officials said.

South Korea confirmed its suspicion that North Korea was responsible for the attack after a message from Kim Jong Ill stated that “We sunk your battleship. Suck it, capitalist loving bitches!”

Investigators from Australia, Britain, Sweden and the United States pieced together the attack. The officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because South Korea has yet to disclose the findings of the investigation, said that “North Koreas decision to target cells A1 to D1 scored 4/4 direct hits, thus sinking the South Korean battleship.” The officials were not commissioned to comment on military strategy, however, felt that “the decision to place such a key vessel in such an obvious place was inexcusable. Why not just cluster all your ships together, and let the North Koreans pick them off, one at a time?” an unnamed official reported.

Roger, Roger



The Persian developer I work with orders lunch for pick up on a daily basis. There are more than thirty places within walking distance of our office, and prior to phoning in the order, he asks me if I want anything. If I do, he orders the food, walks to the restaurant, delivers it to my desk, and attempts to undercharge me. Every once in a while when I know he’s busy, I’ll return the favor.

What follows is the actual transcript from today:

Mezz0 [1:58 PM]:
Yo

Amir [1:58 PM]:
Yep

Mezz0 [1:58 PM]:
Have you eaten yet?

Amir [1:59 PM]:
no shit

Mezz0 [2:00 PM]:
When you use "no shit" to mean "of course not," you have to say it in response to a statement. For example:

"You must be hungry"
"No shit" (of course I'm hungry)

Amir [2:01 PM]:
roger Roger* - WTF are we going to eat? any shit is ok

Mezz0 [2:01 PM]:
Do you want to eat the shit food from the shit deli place?

Amir [2:02 PM]:
yes shir - do whatever shit you wanna do, I am hell ya with that

Amir [2:03 PM]:
2 shit burgers

Mezz0 [2:03 PM]:
2 shit burgers, coming right up

*He loves referencing “Airplane”