Wii Gettin' Outta Here
or
Euro'd-um? Nearly Killed 'Em...
From time to time, for strange reasons that make no sense to me, I get a bank statement that shows that I have money to burn. One of those times happens to be now. My statement is positive…even after making payments to The Village of Schaumburg for having expired tabs on my Town & Country minivan.
My first thoughts went to the Nintendo Wii. Nothing beats the summer heat, which should be just around the corner, better than holing up in the cool comforts of my basement and blending the lines of fantasy and reality with a plastic joystick or two. At $250 it’s a steal. Plus it looks like something out of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Nothing surfaced until my manager told me yesterday that she was leaving for a vacation in Texas.
"Ha! Texas! Hell, I can do better than that."
So it began: Travelocity, Orbitz, and the discovery of a great Yahoo! airfare tool that searches multiple sites automatically. Nothing gives me greater pleasure at work than showing my superiors that, despite the fact that they make twice as much money as I do, I still have more freedom.
$650 Chicago to Amsterdam
$638 Chicago to London
$725 Chicago to Peru
$1100 Chicago to one week all inclusive in Jamaica
$838 Chicago to Rio de Janeiro
$947 Chicago to Prague, Czech Republic
$711 Chicago to Alaska
I was excited, and decided to tell Mezzo and Master P over drinks and Golden Tee.
"So whaddaya say, who's in?"
"Huh…well, you know London is expensive. Really expensive. Actually everything in Europe is expensive, especially with the conversion rate. It's something like $0.50 usd to 1 eurodollar. You could do the Czech, but you're more likely to catch a V.D. than to have any fun. That goes for Amsterdam as well, and nearby Munich might be even more expensive than London. Alaska just sucks. Chances are you'll get rained out and spend all your time freezing your ass off at the hotel bar. The fishing is good, but you wouldn't be able to handle the extreme cold. You could go to South America, which is cheaper than Europe and warmer than Alaska, but you're likely to get kidnapped and murdered. Did you hear that one of every five Americans traveling to South America ends up dead? It's true, I read it in the New Yorker. I also read that Jamaica is a dirty hole and a disgrace to mankind. I guess your best bet would be Amsterdam or Peru, but you've already been to both of those places. How much vacation do you get?"
"I have two weeks right now, plus two floating holidays."
"Well, anything less than two weeks isn't even worth it. You barely have time to deplane and check in at the hotel before you have to turn around and leave. No chance you'll have time to take a train to some other location after you get there. Just flying to any of those places takes a day, plus recovery time. You don't want to waste all of your vacation now with 9 months left in the year."
He took a sip from his Miller Lite and watched as I began to cry.
"Why don't you just buy a Wii," he asked, "It's only, like, $250."
or
Euro'd-um? Nearly Killed 'Em...
From time to time, for strange reasons that make no sense to me, I get a bank statement that shows that I have money to burn. One of those times happens to be now. My statement is positive…even after making payments to The Village of Schaumburg for having expired tabs on my Town & Country minivan.
But what to buy?
My first thoughts went to the Nintendo Wii. Nothing beats the summer heat, which should be just around the corner, better than holing up in the cool comforts of my basement and blending the lines of fantasy and reality with a plastic joystick or two. At $250 it’s a steal. Plus it looks like something out of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Before acting rash, though, I decided to think through other possibilities.
Nothing surfaced until my manager told me yesterday that she was leaving for a vacation in Texas.
"Ha! Texas! Hell, I can do better than that."
So it began: Travelocity, Orbitz, and the discovery of a great Yahoo! airfare tool that searches multiple sites automatically. Nothing gives me greater pleasure at work than showing my superiors that, despite the fact that they make twice as much money as I do, I still have more freedom.
$650 Chicago to Amsterdam
$638 Chicago to London
$725 Chicago to Peru
$1100 Chicago to one week all inclusive in Jamaica
$838 Chicago to Rio de Janeiro
$947 Chicago to Prague, Czech Republic
$711 Chicago to Alaska
I was excited, and decided to tell Mezzo and Master P over drinks and Golden Tee.
"So whaddaya say, who's in?"
"Huh…well, you know London is expensive. Really expensive. Actually everything in Europe is expensive, especially with the conversion rate. It's something like $0.50 usd to 1 eurodollar. You could do the Czech, but you're more likely to catch a V.D. than to have any fun. That goes for Amsterdam as well, and nearby Munich might be even more expensive than London. Alaska just sucks. Chances are you'll get rained out and spend all your time freezing your ass off at the hotel bar. The fishing is good, but you wouldn't be able to handle the extreme cold. You could go to South America, which is cheaper than Europe and warmer than Alaska, but you're likely to get kidnapped and murdered. Did you hear that one of every five Americans traveling to South America ends up dead? It's true, I read it in the New Yorker. I also read that Jamaica is a dirty hole and a disgrace to mankind. I guess your best bet would be Amsterdam or Peru, but you've already been to both of those places. How much vacation do you get?"
"I have two weeks right now, plus two floating holidays."
"Well, anything less than two weeks isn't even worth it. You barely have time to deplane and check in at the hotel before you have to turn around and leave. No chance you'll have time to take a train to some other location after you get there. Just flying to any of those places takes a day, plus recovery time. You don't want to waste all of your vacation now with 9 months left in the year."
He took a sip from his Miller Lite and watched as I began to cry.
"Why don't you just buy a Wii," he asked, "It's only, like, $250."
Labels: 2001: A Space Odyssey, Alaska, Brazilian, Conversion Rate, Czech, Dollar, Euro, Europe, Jamaica, London, Marble Madness, Miller Lite, Peru, Schaumburg, Stanley Kubrick, Wii
posted by The Youngest at 10:38 AM
1 Comments:
You liar! I said nothing negative about Czhek, in fact, I said "The w1mm1n were "teh hawt" (not "teh hiv") and the beer was rumored to be adequate.
Although now that I think about it, it is a small country with not much to see or do...And a long flight.
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