Uncle Sam Thinks Income Tax is Bullshit















I have no time for wit on this evil night. I wanted to go pick up my free tax-day burrito from Chipotle, but dammit...I was filling out a tax form after work today and for some damn reason I needed to stop filling out that form and fill out 3 other forms to get the right answer to finish that first form, but not without following line by line instructions so I know what the fuck they are asking me and none of it is saving me money and suddenly three fucking hours pass in the blink of an eye.

Not only did I miss my free burrito, I missed what was sure to be another thrilling night of Jack Bauer's 24.

But I learned my lesson once before. The Man put the smack down on me for a very well rationalized attempt at civil disobedience. I decided not to pay my Minnesota state taxes for a year.

I had overpaid my taxes by about $200, but Turbo Tax didn't want to let me E-file since I was new to the state.

"Fuck it," I reasoned, "I'd rather get stoned and watch Laugh In, than deal with postage and fill this shit out by hand."

Then I turned in the direction of the nearest lake and called out to the state, "Minnesota! I give you my tax refund for your benefit! We both know that you are committing a crime against our constitution and never should have taken my hard-earned money in the first place. You owe me one!"

Apparently, though, I owed Minnesota two. They took $400 from my tax return three years later...for interest that I owed on money that I never owed them. How's that for Minnesota nice?

So did I fix it? Set The Man straight? Fill out some forms and get back that old refund that I deserved?

Like I said before, small print, calculators and paperwork don't even compare to getting stoned and watching Laugh In.

But I did get my taxes in on time this year, and I will get paid back this time. So in a way...yeah. I feel like I'm growing as a person.

(Oh, yeah, that's pure Goldie Hawn Laugh In Hotness!)