Inner Monologue While Changing Dirty Whore's Coolant
Yep. Got this whole area over the garage covered with Trader Joe's bags. Some people use newspaper, but these Trader Joe's bags are thick. Good thinking on my part. You are one smart son of a bitch. (Handsome, too) Let's see...So I got instructions on changing coolant both from the Internet with pictures, and the Clymer's manual. I have all the tools laid out. I am prepared. Let's drink a beer! No, not yet, let's get this coolant changed, then we'll think about relaxing in front of the big screen. OK. We gotta get this thing on the center stand. Heyyyyyyyyyy-up and it's done. That's not easy to do, but you've got the technique down like a champ. Remember that old coworker who couldn't get his bike on his center stand? HAHAHA. Beer time? No - we just went over this. OK. Remove first drain plug from the radiator. Let's get out the wrench, and set up the drain pain. Just....Loosen....Up.....Ahhh, there it is. I'll unscrew the rest with my hand. And...Huh? The plug is in my hand, but no coolant is draining. Could I be that low on coolant? OK, let's double check the manual. Looks right to me. Go figure. I'll just unscrew the second plug. Ahh crap, this is at an awkard angle. Damnit, hate laying on the floor - I hope this isn't where that homless guy was pissing a few months ago. Stunk like urine even after weeks. The'guy must not have a very good diet. And......There! What? No drainage again? Shit. What the fuck? I must be doing something wrong, but what? Think on it over a beer? No, damnit, we got work to do. Alright Alright Alright. This matches the pictures. The manual confirms. I know these things run cool, but I hope I wasn't compoletely out of coolant. Alright. I'll just remove the plug from the crank case. Just unscrew it here. Huh, looks like a little fluid seepage. And....OH MY GOD IT IS EJACULATING EVERYWHERE! HOLY SHIT! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! OH NO! I'M COVERED IN THIS SHIT! THE FLOOR IS COVERED! COOLANT IS EVERYWHERE! MY TRADER JOE'S BAGS ARE SOAKED THROUGH. I SHOULD HAVE PAID SOMEONE TO DO THIS! WHAT DID I DO WRONG? WHY ME? WHY NOW? WHY?
Yep. Got this whole area over the garage covered with Trader Joe's bags. Some people use newspaper, but these Trader Joe's bags are thick. Good thinking on my part. You are one smart son of a bitch. (Handsome, too) Let's see...So I got instructions on changing coolant both from the Internet with pictures, and the Clymer's manual. I have all the tools laid out. I am prepared. Let's drink a beer! No, not yet, let's get this coolant changed, then we'll think about relaxing in front of the big screen. OK. We gotta get this thing on the center stand. Heyyyyyyyyyy-up and it's done. That's not easy to do, but you've got the technique down like a champ. Remember that old coworker who couldn't get his bike on his center stand? HAHAHA. Beer time? No - we just went over this. OK. Remove first drain plug from the radiator. Let's get out the wrench, and set up the drain pain. Just....Loosen....Up.....Ahhh, there it is. I'll unscrew the rest with my hand. And...Huh? The plug is in my hand, but no coolant is draining. Could I be that low on coolant? OK, let's double check the manual. Looks right to me. Go figure. I'll just unscrew the second plug. Ahh crap, this is at an awkard angle. Damnit, hate laying on the floor - I hope this isn't where that homless guy was pissing a few months ago. Stunk like urine even after weeks. The'guy must not have a very good diet. And......There! What? No drainage again? Shit. What the fuck? I must be doing something wrong, but what? Think on it over a beer? No, damnit, we got work to do. Alright Alright Alright. This matches the pictures. The manual confirms. I know these things run cool, but I hope I wasn't compoletely out of coolant. Alright. I'll just remove the plug from the crank case. Just unscrew it here. Huh, looks like a little fluid seepage. And....OH MY GOD IT IS EJACULATING EVERYWHERE! HOLY SHIT! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! OH NO! I'M COVERED IN THIS SHIT! THE FLOOR IS COVERED! COOLANT IS EVERYWHERE! MY TRADER JOE'S BAGS ARE SOAKED THROUGH. I SHOULD HAVE PAID SOMEONE TO DO THIS! WHAT DID I DO WRONG? WHY ME? WHY NOW? WHY?
Labels: Dirty Whore, Mezzo
posted by Mezz0 at 3:01 PM
4 Comments:
coolant is fun and everything, but couldn't you at least throw something in about donkey punching jenna bush?
capt.
Wow. I must really be off my game for so many spit balls to be flying from the peanut gallery.
Stupid lack of comedic inspiration.
(the above comment made me think I should check that revolting site you introduced me to through this one to find out what donkey punching is, and then I remembered that I promised myself I would never subject myself to that site again, and it would be better for me to just live my life without ever knowing what donkey punching is. dammit, I hate wasting my time over repulsiveness. perhaps the key difference between the sexes...)
~ sigh ~
but actually, I liked your thoughts while coolant-changing...
In all honesty, that IS a difference between sexes that begins early in childhood with boys having "gross out" contests. Now, all I need to do is say something like "strawberry shortcake" and I titter like I was back in third grade. But DAMN, I love having a Y chromosome!
Post a Comment
<< Home