Born Again, Cali-forn-I-am
Is Katy Perry really that bad? Is the weather really that nice? Is it really that easy to get weed?
Yes, yes, and yes!
View from my bedroom, con el gato de La Primera
"Cookie Dough". Note sunshine, palm tree, blue skies.
I'm one week removed from the chaotic wintery hell of the midwest. Within that one week, blizzards caused the roof to collapse at the iconic Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome. Blizzards. Blizzards in a city that I used to live in. It took me back to my time in Minnesota, back when I was a delivery driver in Minneapolis.
When I got lost and needed to get my bearings, that ugly roof was my homing beacon, my North Star. Seeing its lifeless shell deflated reminded me of those deliveries. It reminded me of the puddles of slush I'd sink into while wheeling a dolly loaded with boxes behind me. It reminded me of the fear of approaching a red light without any momentum to myself through the muck that had pooled in the intersection. It reminded me of the time I tapped my brakes and skidded two full rotations amid four lanes of rush hour traffic.
It reminded my of the time I was walking through several feet of snow to a distant Airstream trailer for an enjoyable weekend in the north woods with some friends. I became overwhelmed with heat and exhaustion on the hike in. The snow was too deep for my chubby body. I was crotch-deep in wet snow, exhausted, and throwing up all over the place. I gathered myself and marched on another 20 yards before my boot slipped off during a step. While struggling to get my foot back in place beneath layers of snow, I was compelled to throw up for a second time.
My friends, tired of offering encouragement, carried on ahead. I considered not calling out for them to check back on me...it seemed like less of an issue if I simply rested in the cool snow and let my body succumb to the elements. That boot was going to be cold and wet for the rest of the weekend anyway.
This is what winter does to people. Why would anyone subject their person to such insane nonsense? Is it some devil that gets inside of us?
Fuck!
The same day that the roof was collapsing in Minneapolis, I was basking in 84 degree weather in sunny Chula Vista (seriously, it was 84), smoking another bong of the best marijuana available to man (legally, mind you) and getting ready to stuff myself, once again, with the succulent fire-grilled flavors of El Pollo Loco (thanks for the tip, Breaking Bad). Good christ, I am loving this food. I much prefer "Flour or corn tortilla?" at the drive-thru instead of "You want fries with that?"
Who gives a shit if I'm unemployed, catless, and I drink too much? At least I am not experiencing my 30th midwest winter.
Also, it looks like I've got a new cat on the way. In the wake of Kid-A, baddest of the bad-ass motherfucking cats that ever lived, I present to you (the temporarily named) Plan-B.
I'll be picking him up on Sunday.
He might be a Bernie.
Is Katy Perry really that bad? Is the weather really that nice? Is it really that easy to get weed?
Yes, yes, and yes!
View from my bedroom, con el gato de La Primera
"Cookie Dough". Note sunshine, palm tree, blue skies.
I'm one week removed from the chaotic wintery hell of the midwest. Within that one week, blizzards caused the roof to collapse at the iconic Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome. Blizzards. Blizzards in a city that I used to live in. It took me back to my time in Minnesota, back when I was a delivery driver in Minneapolis.
When I got lost and needed to get my bearings, that ugly roof was my homing beacon, my North Star. Seeing its lifeless shell deflated reminded me of those deliveries. It reminded me of the puddles of slush I'd sink into while wheeling a dolly loaded with boxes behind me. It reminded me of the fear of approaching a red light without any momentum to myself through the muck that had pooled in the intersection. It reminded me of the time I tapped my brakes and skidded two full rotations amid four lanes of rush hour traffic.
It reminded my of the time I was walking through several feet of snow to a distant Airstream trailer for an enjoyable weekend in the north woods with some friends. I became overwhelmed with heat and exhaustion on the hike in. The snow was too deep for my chubby body. I was crotch-deep in wet snow, exhausted, and throwing up all over the place. I gathered myself and marched on another 20 yards before my boot slipped off during a step. While struggling to get my foot back in place beneath layers of snow, I was compelled to throw up for a second time.
My friends, tired of offering encouragement, carried on ahead. I considered not calling out for them to check back on me...it seemed like less of an issue if I simply rested in the cool snow and let my body succumb to the elements. That boot was going to be cold and wet for the rest of the weekend anyway.
This is what winter does to people. Why would anyone subject their person to such insane nonsense? Is it some devil that gets inside of us?
Fuck!
The same day that the roof was collapsing in Minneapolis, I was basking in 84 degree weather in sunny Chula Vista (seriously, it was 84), smoking another bong of the best marijuana available to man (legally, mind you) and getting ready to stuff myself, once again, with the succulent fire-grilled flavors of El Pollo Loco (thanks for the tip, Breaking Bad). Good christ, I am loving this food. I much prefer "Flour or corn tortilla?" at the drive-thru instead of "You want fries with that?"
Who gives a shit if I'm unemployed, catless, and I drink too much? At least I am not experiencing my 30th midwest winter.
Also, it looks like I've got a new cat on the way. In the wake of Kid-A, baddest of the bad-ass motherfucking cats that ever lived, I present to you (the temporarily named) Plan-B.
I'll be picking him up on Sunday.
He might be a Bernie.
posted by The Youngest at 8:48 PM
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