NFL Week 9
Last week I made a cold, calculated gambler's decision and picked the filthy NE Patriots (I fucking hate them) to beat my beloved (sort of) MN Vikings. It was a decision that paid off as I went 2/2 for my survivor picks. For my first pick this week I'm going with my second most-hated team in the NFL, The New York Giants, to defeat the depleted Seattle Seahawks. Despite the fact that the New York coach's job duties seem to center around trying to master the look of shocked and confused indignation, they are facing a Seattle Seahawk team that is so marred by injuries that they were walloped by the Raiders 33-3 last week. To make matters worse, their starting QB was concussed after their porous O-line allowed 8 sacks...EIGHT. OAKLAND. That woozy fellow will be replaced by backup QB Sacrificial Lamb (he looks like Jesus!) who has never started a regular season game in the NFL.
Last week I made a cold, calculated gambler's decision and picked the filthy NE Patriots (I fucking hate them) to beat my beloved (sort of) MN Vikings. It was a decision that paid off as I went 2/2 for my survivor picks. For my first pick this week I'm going with my second most-hated team in the NFL, The New York Giants, to defeat the depleted Seattle Seahawks. Despite the fact that the New York coach's job duties seem to center around trying to master the look of shocked and confused indignation, they are facing a Seattle Seahawk team that is so marred by injuries that they were walloped by the Raiders 33-3 last week. To make matters worse, their starting QB was concussed after their porous O-line allowed 8 sacks...EIGHT. OAKLAND. That woozy fellow will be replaced by backup QB Sacrificial Lamb (he looks like Jesus!) who has never started a regular season game in the NFL.
The decision to sit the 35 year old QB Hasselbeck might just be an effort to keep him healthy enough to play for the rest of the season, rather than an effort to win. The Giant's defense has knocked out 5 of 7 quarterbacks that they've faced this year. Two concussions, a stinger, a broken arm, and the latest, a broken clavicle, have sent them off to the safety of their locker rooms and reduced opposing offenses to rubble.
"Ready for yo' teabag, Mr Romo?"
"Ready for yo' teabag, Mr Romo?"
By pulling his starting QB, Seahawks coach Pete Carrol already appears to be conceding a loss. The Giant's are probably salivating all over their play books after hearing the news today, and encouraging that overconfidence might be the only angle Carrol can shoot. Unfortunately for him, this game has all the makings for an absolute slaughter...an ugly, painful slaughter that will more closely resemble an early Mike Tyson fight than a football game.
The only thing that could go wrong here is if it rains the entire game, inbreeding experiment Eli Manning throws an interception with every possession, and Whitehurst actually turns out to be the second coming of Jesus Christ (allowing Him to elevate Himself safely above the field to throw magical Hail Mary's that are never intercepted).
My second pick is The Atlanta Falcons over The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. That story isn't nearly as interesting, so you're just gonna have to trust me. They totally outclass the Bucs.
The bad news? Both teams I'm picking are coming off of bye weeks and may show a little rust.
The bad news? Both teams I'm picking are coming off of bye weeks and may show a little rust.
Labels: Atlanta, Bucs, Carrol, Coughlin, Eliminator, Falcons, Hasselbeck, NFL, Picks, Pool, Ryan, Seahawks, Seattle, Suicide Pool, Survivor, Tamp Bay, Week 9
posted by The Youngest at 1:38 PM
2 Comments:
Hawt'Lanta is gonna drop the ball.
TB has had some rare moments of brilliance this season, and they're liable to do so again, against their hick neighbors to the north.
Matt Ryan is 18-1 as a starter in the Georgia Dome.
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