Should Have Faked My Own Death



*My apologies for immediately bumping Primera, but this is sort of topical*

TNT explained to me, upon moving to San Diego and experiencing his first earthquake, "You go through your entire life with the fundamental understanding that the ground beneath you is stable, and until it starts to move, you take this for granted."

I've been in Los Angeles for a year and a half, and have recently contemplated that I'm well overdue for my first earthquake. (I suppose, technically, my second earthquake.) I've prepared myself mentally, so I don't regress into a scared little girl, which would be comforting in the short term, but would definitely derail my survival instincts.

I was at work today around noon when got a nasty case of the spins. I took inventory, realized I was completely sober, and looked out the window because it felt like a strong wind was shaking the building. Then I realized that I was experiencing my first earthquake. Sweet!

I heard women scream in the distance. It sounded like it was coming from the compliance department, and as they were already lost to the world, they weren't worth saving. Our four, foreign-born developers looked like frightened bunny rabbits, and ran out the door, and toward the elevator.

Our project manager called them back in, and calmly explained to them, like the captain of a ship in the middle of thunderstorm, to get under a door jam or desk, and stop being such fucking pussies. It lasted for a good minute or two, and then tapered off, our building gently rocking on rollers to prevent massive carnage and loss of life.

Afterwards, we had a good laugh at the foreigners who bravely ran away, until they explained to us that in their native land, modern building codes really do not exist, and if they do, can be avoided with a bribe, and an earthquake of the magnitude we just experienced would have killed several thousand people, including everyone in our building.

Touche, Srinivasan. I'll never again laugh at foreigners...Unless they smell bad or harbor terrorists.

Just in case you were wondering, the Dirty Whore survived uninjured. Thanks to everyone who called, oh wait, nobody called, you selfish assholes, outside of two of four immediate family members.