The Gays Next Door
A couple years ago Master P's newly single mother (Sugar) cast off the shackles of her repressive suburban life and set her sites on the big city, Chicago. No longer would she be burdened by the hassle of her three grown children or her ex-husband's compulsive blinking. It was a brand new adventure for her, an adventure bound to be fraught with all the ups and downs of a modern day Jane Austin novel.
She imagined herself in a slinky black dress, sipping French wine as her dinner guests raved about her hors dourves. It was a chance for her to start anew and to reconnect with her younger, hipper self...at least that's what she thought when she made the decision to move downtown...at least that's what I like to imagine...
Sugar took special care when looking for a place to buy and she made sure to give the realtor specific instructions.
"I want to be in the middle of the action. You know, somewhere that's a short walk from everywhere…I want to live somewhere where I can go out for a drink at any time, day or night," she continued, "Also, and I want to make sure I'm clear about this...I must have MEN. I want to live near the young single ones…the well-manicured fellows who have never been married. Show me a neighborhood where the men share my love for wine and my delicate sensibilities."
"What, like Boys Town?" the realtor asked, half kidding.
Sugar's eyes lit up and she smiled warmly, "Well that sounds delightfully naughty!"
She fell in love with a home quickly and as the realtor drove her around the neighborhood, she saw young, athletic men everywhere. Her heart fluttered and, aside from being slightly jealous of one man's perfectly even tan, she felt comfortable with her surroundings. She wondered if the Irish were finally getting their shit together. After all, there were multi-colored rainbow patterns all throughout the neighborhood. Naturally, she assumed that this was an Irish neighborhood and that the rainbows were a cultural nod to leprechauns, pots of gold, and God's promises.
God's progressive agenda
As it turns out, she moved into the largest openly gay neighborhood in the midwest. Not that there's anything wrong with that....and nor should there be.
Just like there isn't any problem with Master P's sister and m-
OK, hold on a second. Initially I intended to develop a seamless and scandalously interwoven web involving Master P's mom, his increasingly hot sister, who was living with her earlier, and the friendly homosexual couples who they have befriended in the nearby area, but I'm a bit lazy. Also, I'm a simple person, and I realize that once you (I) start talking about Master P's mom, Sugar, and her daughter it's easy to get sidetracked.
Sorry.
In summary:
If you live near Wrigley Field, don't be alarmed if you see something that seems out of place...a man running down your street wearing nothing more than a green g-string speedo and a rhinestone leprechaun hat, for example. What you are seeing are homosexual tourists unbound by the constraints of a "breeders" world during Pride Week--fueled only by a proud gay spirit and the siren song of Debbie Gibson (and Appletinis).
Master P's mother, Sugar, and his sister (now studying for her MD degree out of state) lived together in this sexually charged and promiscuous atmosphere...in the same building...did I mention that she's going to be a doctor? HOT!
The gays who live in the neighborhood are quite friendly, especially if you have a patio in front of your place and are willing to share...and gossip!
Apparently, it's only an occasional thing for them to dress up like this.
Sweet Tea Vodka with crushed mint, a splash of lemonade, and a smidge of Sprite is fucking delicious.
I feel as liberated to use the term "Gays" as I did "Jews" once I realized that it wasn't a slur, in and of itself.
I couldn't really find a place for this anywhere in here.
As Master P said to me before heading upstairs with some artistically seasoned flank steak, "It's nice having some friendly people nearby to socialize with, hell, we like to cook and drink."
I agreed, "They make good neighbors."
A couple years ago Master P's newly single mother (Sugar) cast off the shackles of her repressive suburban life and set her sites on the big city, Chicago. No longer would she be burdened by the hassle of her three grown children or her ex-husband's compulsive blinking. It was a brand new adventure for her, an adventure bound to be fraught with all the ups and downs of a modern day Jane Austin novel.
She imagined herself in a slinky black dress, sipping French wine as her dinner guests raved about her hors dourves. It was a chance for her to start anew and to reconnect with her younger, hipper self...at least that's what she thought when she made the decision to move downtown...at least that's what I like to imagine...
Sugar took special care when looking for a place to buy and she made sure to give the realtor specific instructions.
"I want to be in the middle of the action. You know, somewhere that's a short walk from everywhere…I want to live somewhere where I can go out for a drink at any time, day or night," she continued, "Also, and I want to make sure I'm clear about this...I must have MEN. I want to live near the young single ones…the well-manicured fellows who have never been married. Show me a neighborhood where the men share my love for wine and my delicate sensibilities."
"What, like Boys Town?" the realtor asked, half kidding.
Sugar's eyes lit up and she smiled warmly, "Well that sounds delightfully naughty!"
She fell in love with a home quickly and as the realtor drove her around the neighborhood, she saw young, athletic men everywhere. Her heart fluttered and, aside from being slightly jealous of one man's perfectly even tan, she felt comfortable with her surroundings. She wondered if the Irish were finally getting their shit together. After all, there were multi-colored rainbow patterns all throughout the neighborhood. Naturally, she assumed that this was an Irish neighborhood and that the rainbows were a cultural nod to leprechauns, pots of gold, and God's promises.
God's progressive agenda
As it turns out, she moved into the largest openly gay neighborhood in the midwest. Not that there's anything wrong with that....and nor should there be.
Just like there isn't any problem with Master P's sister and m-
OK, hold on a second. Initially I intended to develop a seamless and scandalously interwoven web involving Master P's mom, his increasingly hot sister, who was living with her earlier, and the friendly homosexual couples who they have befriended in the nearby area, but I'm a bit lazy. Also, I'm a simple person, and I realize that once you (I) start talking about Master P's mom, Sugar, and her daughter it's easy to get sidetracked.
Sorry.
In summary:
If you live near Wrigley Field, don't be alarmed if you see something that seems out of place...a man running down your street wearing nothing more than a green g-string speedo and a rhinestone leprechaun hat, for example. What you are seeing are homosexual tourists unbound by the constraints of a "breeders" world during Pride Week--fueled only by a proud gay spirit and the siren song of Debbie Gibson (and Appletinis).
Master P's mother, Sugar, and his sister (now studying for her MD degree out of state) lived together in this sexually charged and promiscuous atmosphere...in the same building...did I mention that she's going to be a doctor? HOT!
The gays who live in the neighborhood are quite friendly, especially if you have a patio in front of your place and are willing to share...and gossip!
Apparently, it's only an occasional thing for them to dress up like this.
Sweet Tea Vodka with crushed mint, a splash of lemonade, and a smidge of Sprite is fucking delicious.
I feel as liberated to use the term "Gays" as I did "Jews" once I realized that it wasn't a slur, in and of itself.
I couldn't really find a place for this anywhere in here.
As Master P said to me before heading upstairs with some artistically seasoned flank steak, "It's nice having some friendly people nearby to socialize with, hell, we like to cook and drink."
I agreed, "They make good neighbors."
posted by The Youngest at 11:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home