All righty, I'm changing the channel.
Someone I know killed himself a few weeks ago, and I wrote this.

Dear A,
Seems you couldn't see the charm
in your own charming human blunders
anymore

Now I imagine you as Spirit
shaking your head at your former self
like a much older man remembering his youth
wondering over how
you lost perspective
until

the stars shifted
someone gasped
and you were gone

And I imagine
that in your last human moment
you felt the horror of what you had done

And I imagine
that your first realization as pure Spirit, as a being of light,
was that you had always been one
along with the rest of us
each our own charming human flavor
with our own wretched and glorious moments

And this is how I will remember you:
Giggling impishly
at something you had said to poke at C
then straightening up into seriousness
but letting the giggles overtake you again
before you could go on
"ok. ok." you said, more to yourself than anyone.
"it's ok, it's ok." I say to myself -- am I dreaming?

Oh, A --
sometimes, in a space, a moment of frozen time shatters,
and I can hear the echo of your laughter.

And now I walk out into the night,
with Mama Earth beneath my feet,
look up at the blade of a moon that slices the sky
a crack in the veil between us
feel myself as a part of it all

feel you a part of it, too

I now return you to your regularly scheduled program.