We, as a race, are massive failures

5 hours at work + 3 hours at home = 8 / 16 (waking hours) = 50% of my time staring at glowing rectangles*. Fuck you, Onion, I'm only spending half my life staring at screens. And there's nothing pathetic about that!

*Obviously, this estimate is probably minus a standard deviation in screen staring as nobody wants to admit how much time they piss away watching TV/on the computer/lusting after Jenna Bush, particularly those assholes who say they never watch TV, which really is to say "I watch less TV than you, and therefore I am a better person than you," and really this also goes for people who say "I only watch Shark Week on the Discovery channel once a year, and old episodes of Grace Under Fire [therefore I am a better person than you]" and people (like me) who proudly shove it into other's people's faces that we don't have cable, which I don't, but that doesn't give me (us? losing control of grammar, here) the right to use it as ammunition in the game of "who's better at life," and you have to admit, the quality of television has vastly improved over the past 10-15 years, I mean, have you seen Deadwood? Every line is fucking poetry!