My Wife Is A Raging Alcoholic

At the ripe old age of nine, my wife was asked to draw her favorite foods as part of a class project:



Look closely in the middle of the drawing. Try to ignore the cartoonish depictions, the ice cream phallus, and focus in on the wine. Obviously, wine is not a food, but let's not judge a nine year old on being unable to distinguish between the two.

Why would a nine year old consider wine to be her favorite anything?

Then it gets even worse. Even worse than little babies with black eyes wearing toilet seats on their heads:




Yes, this WAS is one of the things that makes her happy...Yesterday, today, and tomorrow:



My father in law, a man known for his generosity, appears to have a bit of cunning in him as well. He gave me this immediately AFTER getting hitched. This is going to be a long, long forever.

Update: The Wife says those strange rectangular drawings are of gutter balls, strikes