WWJD - What Would Jim (from the office) Do?

I work in an office, and relate my life exclusively to television, so...

Let's pretend that Dwight suddenly went on some sort of religious bender and, say, started listening to cassette tapes of religious music all day long. Additionally, Dwight would wear headphones while listening to the music and sing/hum along with the music all day long, irritating the hell out of Jim and all nearby coworkers...


Lets also say that...


Dwight sighs loudly 50-60 times per day and tells family/friends on the phone that his day is going "(sigh)Ohh...just OK".

Dwight is especially bad at humming/singing, particularly his rendition of Amazing Grace

Dwight doesn't exactly hide his distaste for his job.

Dwight wears sweatshirts with things like bears or humming bees ironed on.

Dwight never talks to anyone at work unprompted and avoids eye-contact when approaching Jim in the hall.

Dwight is humming again, right now, and Jim looks at the camera.

Dwight is separated from Jim by a thin cubicle wall that is useless as a sound barrier

Dwight/Jim's office is virtually silent all day long, except for the sound of typing, phone calls, the rare conversation...and the horrific sound of humming/singing.

Dwight is attending weight watchers meetings and calls his "weight watcher buddy" from time to time

Dwight still drinks massive Taco Bell sized cokes


Dwight is singing now, Jim buries his head in his hands, stands up, and goes over to talk to Pam

Dwight's office doesn't really have a Pam on his team. If she was here, Jim would totally hit that.

Dwight is somewhere between 50 and 60 years old

Dwight has rickets

Dwight has frizzy, unkept, permed, poofed up hair that would have been out of style during the perm peek of the 80's.

Dwight is a woman who is blowing her nose right now

Jim looks at the camera and a single tear drop rolls down his cheek

So what would Jim do? Would he encase Dwight's headphones in jello? Would he replace the tapes with death metal? Would he turn the volume of the tape player to full blast before leaving every night? Would he curse Dwight under his breath, issuing loud, earth-shattering sighs/throat clears every time he started humming? Would he continue on, suffering in relative silence...or would he, say, super glue one of the spinner things that allows the cassette tape to spool from one wheel to the other, causing the cassette tape to unwind?

What would Michael do?

He would most likely publicly humiliate her, which is probably the best course of action. Is de-pantsing/public urination frowned upon in office settings?

How about hanging an effigy from the ceiling?

What would Wayne Brady do?

He would do as I do and yell through the cubicle wall...

"Is Wayne Brady gonna hafta slap a bitch!?"

But what I really want to know is, what would YOU do.