Help me scrape the mucus off my brain



I never thought at 30 years I would still be playing video games, but last night, I drank to excess alone playing Command and Conquer - Tiberium Wars on my 24-inch monitor in my underwear with the lights out. Well, not alone exactly as Bob Hope dropped by to give me advice on leveraging the “Peak Tiberium” hypothesis as more than just, like, a guideline to allocating resources away from tiberium harvesters midway through the scenario. Bob suggested using this economic insight as pure gamesmanship, and implored me to taunt my computer opponent rather than ramping up my air cannon defenses. I followed his advice, and horded tiberium, and repeatedly threatened to nationalize all tiberium in the scenario, kick out Nod harvesting corporations, and extend my term in office indefinately to ensure the GDI One Country initiatives were completed. The computer didn't respond.

Needless to say, it took me all night to get past the level, and I’m beginning to think that the “Peak Tiberium” hypothesis is bullshit. Also, I have a nasty headache.