Wednesday, November 05, 2008

From The Youngest:
Dear Lord, What Have We Done?



















What a wonderfully cathartic moment. I, for one, have been following this race consistently for two damn years. I was emotionally involved. I've been waiting 5 years to vote that terrifying man-child out of high office. I ask you to join with me as we bow down to our new Democratic Overlords. We can enjoy the prospect of "change" or "hope" or "a new path for America" for at least a little while. I encourage everybody to get stupid-happy over the next handful of months as best they can. It isn't often that you can pretend, just for a little while, that you are blindly and hopelessly optimistic. Especially with massive financial disaster bearing down all around us.













I didn't predict such a resounding victory for Obama, and I may pay for it. I won my wager betting against the republicans getting over 269 electoral votes, I lost my wager placing Obama's electoral vote tally at 310-329. So now, it all comes down to McCain, with three states remaining too close to call.

Missouri (11 electorals) (McCain is ahead by 6,000 votes)
North Carolina (15 electorals) (Obama up by 12,000 votes)
Indiana (11 electorals) (Fuck! Indiana just went Obama)

I have a wager with McCain winning 22 states or more (he has 21)
I have a wager with McCain losing by 160 or fewer electoral votes (he needs 22 to close the gap)
I have a wager with McCain winning Missouri (McCain is up by less than 6,000 votes with 100% reporting)

Luckily, even if McCain can't pull Missouri and I lose all three of these bets, I have my wagers covered. I put my guest ticket pass for Obama's election night rally up for sale on E-Bay for $290. Some lady downtown who works for Bank of America, of all places, bought it from me and then said that she didn't need it. She didn't even ask if I was willing to give her money back, God bless her.

Personally, I give this next batch of bastards in congress about 150 days before they remind us all why the two party system is a sham. We have given far too much power to one party. That should frighten everybody. It's equivalent to dumping a year's worth of food into a goldfish bowl and expecting the idiot brain of the fish to ration its intake.

You have to admit that this was an election of epic historical proportion, though. I'm happy that Obama will be our next president. I think our country is ready for a more inclusive, less fear-mongering executive branch. From what I've seen over the last two years Obama is an intellectual, thoughtful, pragmatic person. Looking at his rapid rise to the top, you have to give him props for being a remarkable strategist...or at least having the vision to exploit every opportunity he was given. Whether or not he has the character to stand up to his party and stop what is sure to be a massive orgy of government spending is doubtful. It really is a damn shame, but it's only a matter of time before we wake up one morning to a dead, bloated fish floating happily amidst the excesses of its own blind greed.

In the meantime, 40's of Olde English and Phat Philly Blunts all around...I'll also leave you with this cold, communist-style communication congratulating Obama...from our friends in China.

CHINESE PRESIDENT HU JINTAO

"In a new historical era, I look forward to taking our bilateral relationship of constructive co-operation to a new level."

That may not sound so weird, unless you consider other gushing remarks from different countries

UK PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN

"This is a moment that will live in history as long as history books are written.

"Barack Obama ran an inspirational campaign, energising politics with his progressive values and his vision for the future."

1 Comments:

Blogger Mezz0 said...

Yeah, but I heard he was a Muslim.

6:15 PM  

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